Lighthouse Moment ~or~ Lawyers for Jesus

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July 13, 2011

Lighthouse Moment ~or~ Lawyers for Jesus

Have you ever had one of those light bulb moments? Or even better… instead of a light bulb it was a lighthouse in the midst of a really dark and scary storm. You are going along with no light in sight. Feelings of despair, anxiety and fear encompass you. Then all of the sudden there is a lighthouse. Your first feeling is one of amazing relief that you can see something. Woohoo… I am saved! But right on the heels of that feeling is one of ‘OH MY WORD’, I am gonna hit that big massive rock if I do not do something right now. That is exactly where I was a few weeks ago!

Being raised a Christian, I have heard all about forgiveness… what it means to be forgiven by a perfect sinless God. What it means to be wronged and to forgive because you want to be forgiven.   That often forgiveness is a daily routine because of the sins committed against you. And I have had those moments where the pain inflicted was so great it was paralyzing.    It was not unusual to have to forgive that individual many times a day for years. With time the pain and hurt subsided and I went about living.

There is a flip side to this. It was ingrained into me quite often at church in my earlier years. Being offended or hurt or allowing myself to feel pain was a weakness in my ‘Christian armor’. That if I was offended or hurt, I was somehow weak and not as strong in my walk as I should be. I wanted so badly to be perfect, to not be wounded. I wanted to conquer it all! The battles that went on in my head! But, I did get hurt. I did get offended. I do have pain. Don’t we all? But I became defeated most of the time.

Back to the ‘lighthouse moment’.   In scripture it says, ‘in a multiple of counselors there is safety’. So, I have always sought out those closest to me when I just can’t quite figure it out myself. And trust me… it takes a while for me to ask for help. However, a few weeks ago I just seemed to be bombarded by so many different things that I was feeling… yes, HOPELESS! I was crying at almost everything… And that is not something that I do often.. cry that is… Being bombarded, seems to be an occupational hazard! LOL

Anyway, back on track. I decided to ask my dear pastor if I could come in and see him. Now, if you ever want to have some advice… honest advice that comes straight from love, he is your guy!
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So our visit was scheduled and I heard something that I have probably heard before, but not in the same way. I am going to do my best to explain it because it was a life changing, corner turning moment in my life. A little ‘me’ history first…

When someone wrongs me, hurts me, offends me, ignores me, yells at me, blames me, criticizes me or my kids, etc. I will automatically start analyzing myself. What did I do wrong? Could I have handled the situation differently? Is this a form of pride in myself that needs to be eradicated? (remember my upbringing) But what was pointed out to me was that I was hurt. I had been wronged. I had been offended. Someone had yelled at me.   Do you see my point? I am imperfect! I do not handle things perfectly much to my dismay.   I am not suppose to blame myself for being hurt, yelled at, ignored, criticized.

One of my assignments was to list the person or persons that had inflicted those particular offenses.   Wow, was that hard! Because what I found was that my list was a whole lot longer than I thought it would be. I was remembering hurts from years ago that I just chalked up as my fault. Amazing… this was not going to take a couple of days but most likely weeks. Now, if you do not know me this probably sounds horrible. I am not an unforgiving, grudge holding person.    I love very openly and I am, to a fault, very loyal.

LIGHT HOUSE MOMENT… Remember when Stephen was being stoned.   He was asking his heavenly father to forgive them. But that was not all. He became kind of like a lawyer. He pleaded with the Lord not only to forgive them but to take away any consequences (time in jail, hours of community service, needle in their eyes! ) for the wrongs they were committing. Did you just get that?   Not only was he forgiving those people that were killing him by throwing anything from rocks to boulders, but asking God to take away their consequences! I don’t know about you, but there are times when someone has been downright unkind and mean that the verse, “vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord,” sounds pretty sweet! “All right Lord, I forgive them, but can you give it to them reallllly good!” Seriously, I am the only one?? I don’t think so. Matter of fact, some of you reading this might have asked the Lord to do the same thing to me! HA!

Now, I have to say when Pastor Jerry was talking to me about ‘Lawyers for Jesus’, the person that came to mind was not my present source of contention. It was my husband. My hubby is a wonderful man, but in the beginning years of marriage there were some painful moments. I had forgiven him… I love him. But when I heard that I could go before the courtroom of God and plead that he would receive no consequences, I was euphoric. I do not know how else to explain the surreal feeling of that moment. I could not only forgive, but I could ask for his consequences to be taken away. WOW… Are you saying, “WOW”?

There is one more HUGE step in this process.   First Stephen asked the Lord to forgive them. Secondly, he asked that their consequences be taken away. But lastly, he acknowledged that he would keep the pain, the humiliation, and death. He would accept the scars. I would accept the SCARS so that the one that had wronged me could go away ‘Scott Free!’

I am still working on my list. Amazing how many things keep creeping up that I just assumed was me not being a Strong enough Christian. I have to say that I feel as though I am getting away ‘Scott Free.’ After all, that is exactly what Christ did for me.   He went to the Judge of all mankind and begged for my forgiveness and that I would have no consequences for my sins. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Really, isn’t that what it is all about?